I've had a few over the last many years but more relevantly I had one last month and one this month.
The first happened last month when I had gotten sick. When I get sick I have a tendency of finally eating well. I know this happens and my intentions to continue in such a healthful manner never seem to stick. That isn't my epiphany. What occurred during and after my epiphany starts with the journey towards such an event last February. I went to the doctor for my annual check up. I mentioned that my heart was starting to feel like it was racing and fluttering. So, she put scheduled in for a ECG and a halter monitor... whatever that is. I called the office a few weeks later only to be told that nothing was wrong. Hmmm...
I didn't buy it 100% but I chalked it up to anxiety. It was mid-winter and a cold snowy one and I had two classes (I'm an itinerant teacher) that were stressful. I suppose I could have pursued this further but I decided I was going to monitor things and go from there.
Skip ahead to summer... My heart was feeling like it was racing even more. No longer was it noticeable upon bedtime. Perhaps, it always was the same, no different from back in February. I perhaps only noticed it during the times of stillness and quiet. That would explain it always happening at bedtime as I've just climbed in and turned out the light. By the end of summer, I could no longer go to sleep on my left. I had people tell me that I shouldn't do that anyways because there's an artery or something that gets cut off. Hmmm... I didn't go an research this. It seemed moot. I decided that I would once again mention this at my next annual check up.
Jump ahead to my illness last month. Dry cough, sore throat with NO inflammation, no fever, no aches other than in the ears. It lasted 2 weeks exactly to the day just as a colleague from another school said she had the same thing and it was exactly 2 weeks for her. But I think I had it worse. I went through 4 or more (I lost count) bags of cough drops, was floating away with drinking so much water in hopes to relieve the coughing, braved Buckley's and discovered that Ibuprofen also works for sore throats due to a dry cough and let's not forget the cankers that resulted from taking so many lozenges! And of course, through all of this, I ate less and more healthfully.
The epiphany occurred several days after this two week illness. I woke up in the morning and realized that I had gone to sleep on my left and no more racing or flutters of the heart!!! WHAT? i felt so calm that very night as I tried it again. I went to sleep on my left which is my favourite position because I sleep on the right side of the bed and I can hug a pillow. What a concept! So... what does this all mean?
I have a theory. Ooooo drum roll please... Could it be the lack of crap food like chocolate and fast food be why I am no longer feeling a racing heart? What a concept! I think deep down I knew this but I was in denial or at the stage of not caring. I think a bit of both. When I was feeling better, I had some chocolate. That very night, my heart started to race when I went to bed and tried to sleep on my left.
I think I need to set up a funeral for Chocolate. OK not exactly a funeral but rather a bon voyage party. Chocolate is a revered visitor but a visitor nonetheless. Chocolate has been a permanent house guest who has overstayed his/her welcome. Nice to get together on occasion but too much of a good thing is not so good! And perhaps, Sodium too! I think Sodium was a permanent house guest too but tended to disappear into the open. Sodium is very good at hiding. His/Her camouflage would shame hunters around the world for he/she could hide right in plain sight! So while Sodium won't exactly get a bon voyage party like Chocolate, he/she is kicked off the property for most of the day!
Be still my beating heart!
The second epiphany occurred only 2 days ago while I was in the shower. Why not blog my journey in case I ever decide to write my story and publish it? What a neat concept!!! So here I am journaling. It will not have any rhyme or rhythm nor will there be any visible continuity or transition from one thought to another. If I commit to word, I must commit to action. And I must remember to start carrying pen and paper so that if I get any more revelations or just general thoughts to discuss, I write them down so that I can blog later.
The point through all of this is this: I AM READY! I am ready to get my health under control and get this excess weight OFF!
